Having a pity party over here

125 days since my surgery (4 months)

It is four months and three days since my surgery. I’m doing great. But today I am going through all of my pretty blouses and work clothes that I love. Because most of them are V-neck my scar is now the first thing you see if I wear any of these. 

I know this scar will get better, and in a year or two from now I might even be able to wear a v-neckline without worrying about it. But today I just feel sad. 

Maybe only the women will understand, but I love so many of my things. I felt so confident and pretty in so many of my outfits. I know people say “don’t worry about it, who cares if your scars shows.” But I’m an executive and a professional, and I don’t want the scar to be the first thing someone sees when they look at me. 

Anyway. I guess I’m having a little bit of a pity party over here. And I should probably be grateful that I can afford to buy new clothes. But today, I’m just sad.

4 months after surgery

122 days since my surgery (4 months)

Four months ago today I went into the hospital and had open heart surgery. It seems like a distant memory and also feels like it never even happened. Unless I look at my incision scar.

My scar is actually getting much better - I have been using sicilone strips to help it heal flatter and smoother.

My niece is a cardiac surgical nurse at a children's hospital, and also has had some hip surgery in her past. She recommended these, and she showed me her scars --which you can barely see - that she used these on.  So I am hopeful they will help my scar get flatter.  Really the only part not flat is the top where the suture knot was.  Sometimes it is a little raised and then if I wear the silicone strips it goes down flatter. 

I am still waiting for my spot in the cardiac rehab program.  My friends on the AHA support group highly recommend I do it, so I want to. But it's been FOUR MONTHS! I can't believe how backed up they are!