11 Months of Something

 Tomorrow will be 11 months since my CABG surgery.  

A year ago I was in a bit of denial, having found out I needed surgery and not quite ready to fathom how I could have no symptoms and yet need open heart surgery. It was preposterous.

And it was an elective surgery. That sounds ridiculous.

In my head I was thinking "well, they let me go home from the hospital, it can't be THAT bad." 

I was trying to manage the new health condition I found out I had (HHT) that led to them finding the issue with my heart. That was enough to manage. It has been first hospital stay and it had been a scary and emotional couple of weeks. 

A year ago I was making deals with myself, and with God. "Make this all better, Lord. Maybe they made a mistake."

I began researching alternatives to CABG. Robotic surgery, minimally invasive CABG. I reached out to Cleveland Clinic, Mayo and others. Clearly the doctors who looked at me were being alarmist. Or maybe they just didn't have the latest equipment. 

A year ago I was in a very dark and scary place.

Today - I am on the other side. I am 11 years since my CABG, which I learned was the 'gold standard in treating heart blockages. I feel strong, and healthy and happy. 

10 Months - Another Scar Post

I just saw the dermatologist because I am hoping he can help me with my scar. They really don't prepare you for the scar healing. 

So if you have been reading my other posts, you know that I am concerned that the scar seems to be widening. I have been told that this does happen with women because the breasts pull on the skin. They make you wear a bra 24/7 for the first 2-3 months to prevent the incision itself from being pulled.

While this was a pain, I did have a special bra I wore and I got used to it. I wish I knew about the scar wideing issue because I would have worn the bra for a few more months. (YMMV.)

So here is a photo of my scar at 10 months after surgery. My dermatologist looked at it and said "Marvelous! It looks great!" When I told him I was concerned it was too red and looked wider he said a couple of things I wanted to share with everyone:

1.) He said he gives my scar a B+ (this one you see here)
2.) He said the scar will contract in time
3.) The visiting doctor who happened to be with him that day said scars remodel for 1-2 years and suggested I do light massage on the scar tissue to help.
4.) He said in a few months if it is still red, we can do an easy laser treatment to take care of it.
5.) He said silicone gel or strips, or moisturizer on the scare every day helps too.

So there you have it. I still had hoped it would be a tiny white line by now.

Changes I've Made Since CABG

208 days since my surgery (Almost 7 months)

I have one month left of my virtual Cardiac Rehab, and I want to celebrate some of the positive changes I've made with the help of my doctors, my husband, my physical therapists, and my nutritionist. 

I'm eating more fish.

This is a very positive change for me, and Jim and I are now eating tilapia and grouper at least once a week, and some tuna as well. I'm actually shocked at how fast and easy it is to cook fish, and this past week my nutritionist changed my life when she told me I can actually just cook it from frozen. So in 15 minutes we can have dinner on the table. She said fish has omega-3s that are great for your heart health and we should eat 2 servings a week. She said fatty fish like salmon and tuna are especially good for you.

Salmon has never been a favorite of mine, so she recommended we try swordfish.  I'll let you know how that goes.

I'm doing my cardiac rehab.

This involves exercise, yes, but also meeting with my nutritionist and also watching a lot of content about behavior, how to think differently, stress management, etc. I am nor perfect, and I give myself maybe a C+ on this, but I am also a very hard grader.  

I really like the VHPGO virtual cardiac rehab that RUSH booked me up with, and the live physical therapist and nutritionist appointments I do via the computer. I talked about this before, it is a great platform. I also found Cardiac Rehab videos online and subscribed to their content. I like getting their videos and content in my inbox because they have great content and it reminds me to stay on track. I will probably keep connecting with their content when my virtual rehab ends in a month.

I am drinking more water.

Yes, we know we need to do this. But I am actually doing it. I have planned my day to ensure that I have a water bottle where I need it, when I need it. Talking with my nutritonist, I admitted that I am a pro at using work as an excuse for why I don't do what I need to do. So she gave me some accountability tricks and now I am a hydrating pro.

I am doing Pilates, yoga and cardio.

I was already doing some cardio with my Meta Quest 2 (Oculus) and the Supernatural and Beat Saber apps. And in November I upgraded to an Amazfit Balance smart watch to better monitor my heart rate, HRV, etc. (Yes, I love tech and VR and all of that stuff.) But thanks to my cardiac rehab I have a plan with heart rate goals, I understand why and when I want to increase my heart rate, where to aim on the BORG scale and so much more. So now the tech I love is a lot more useful to me. 

I also understand the importance of strength training and mobility training. The VHPGO has a range of online classes on demand, and I have done some pilates and yoga classes on the mat, and I can absolutely feel the difference in my body. 

I'm being more purposeful.

It is so easy to give in to the urgent and immediate needs of work, friends and family every day. But it is far more important to ensure that I am doing what I need to do to recover and become a stronger, healthier human. That means making purposeful changes, and purposeful decisions every day. I am nowhere near perfect, but I am planning small things into every day that purposefully get me closer to my goals, From planning trips to the kitchen for a water refill (which at my work involves a several minute walk to get my bones moving) to forcing tilapia onto my dinner menu rotation. It also means saying "no" to things if I already have a workout planned that afternoon, or know I need to spend time doing something else that moves me closer to my goals. 

This week will mark 7 months since my surgery, and about 8 months since I found out I even needed surgery. I am better now than I was then. But I want to keep getting better. For me, better means stronger.

Scar update 6 months later

205 days since my surgery (6.5 months)

Well, I saw the dermatologist today to have him look at my scar.  He said "it's looking great!" Which I was so glad to hear, because I look at it and think that it looks too red and that it is 'widening' over time. When I got a little emotional telling him I had to get all new clothes and can't wear any of my pretty things anymore, he assured me that I will be wearing them again! 

Before he came into the room his assistant told me that anywhere on the body where there is tension a scar can stretch and widen. Certainly the sternum is an area -- for women -- that has tension on it. Men don't typically have breasts that can pull on the skin.  When lying on your back (they make you sleep on your back for 2-3 months after surgery) the weight of your breasts, especially if you have larger breasts like me, pulls the skin on the center of your sternum quite a bit.  This is never a problem until you have a 6-8" scar between the middle of your breasts.

I wore a bra 24 hours a day for the first 3 months, and I was so glad to not have to wear it anymore, but I am now thinking maybe I should have worn it longer because I DO have larger breasts. So you may want to discuss that with your doctor ahead of time if you have large breasts. 

The surgeon's office was pretty non-chalant about it before surgery, and the NP there told me that with "my skin" I would probably barely notice any scar there in a year or two. We shall see if she is right.

My dermatologist happens to be the best derm in the world. Maybe everyone thinks theirs is the best, but mine really is. :-D  He told me that the silicone scar tape is great and I can wear it all the time if I want, and it should help.  He also said I can use the tape or the gel, and that some people find silicone gel easier to use. I might look into that. The tape package said to wear it 12-22 hours, but he said just take it off before bathing and then put it back on. 

I secretly believe that wearing the tape to bed might help the scar widen less, but that is complete fantasy on my part to be sure. 

It is also next to impossible to find photos of a sternotomy scar healing over time. I have Googled everywhere and you can see new scars and old scars. So I am going to keep sharing my scar over time so anyone else out there who needs to know can hopefully see this and get some helpful info. Hopefully my pain can be your gain! :-D 


**WARNING - SCAR PHOTO BELOW. STOP HERE IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO SEE A SCAR.**

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You can see what I mean by it looks like it "widened" and there is a little lumpiness at the top, which the dermatologist said we can "fix" if it is still there in a year. That is where the suture knot was, and he told me sometimes they have to remove those suture knots a year after surgery. He even mentioned having to "dig in to find them" or something, which sounded gross. So I am glad mine came out, even though at the time it freaked me out a bit.

He thought it looked great -- which was surprising to me. I really thought it looked awful. But that is why we have dermatologists.

You can see at the bottom my two drain scars. And the impressions on my skin there are from my bra. The bra band hits right where the drain scars are so you can see why it was such an issue when they were healing. Ugh, what a memory that triggered. LOL!

I wonder if silicone scar tape would make those drain scars go away? Hmm I might try that.

Here is a pic of three stages of scar progression for reference: (Please note the middle photo was taken at a different distance which is why you don't see the drain scars at the bottom.)

At 4 months the top of the incision still had a little hump there, which absolutely went away like they said it would.  But now I do (sometimes) have that little lump of skin at the top.  It seems to go away after wearing the silicone scar tape overnight, but then appears again by the end of the day. I am guessing it is related to laying in bed versus being upright all day. Who knows.

Cardiologist Appointment -- woohoo!

185 days since my surgery (6 months)

I had my second "3 month" check in with my cardiologist. He gave me an A+ and said I don't have to come back until next January. My echocardiogram showed sustained EF around 54% so everything is going great (it was 35% back in December, and 55% is the bottom of 'normal.)

"Keep doing what you're doing!" he said.  I told him about an incident I had at an after-work event when I felt a little light-headed and had to sit down. I also told him that my blood pressure readings have been in the 90-100 over 60s. So he discontinued one of my medications (spirinolactone.) 

I am still checking my blood pressure a couple times a week, and my watch checks my heart rate regularly. All things are looking good!

I'll get another echocardiogram in January before my next visit with him. Echocardiograms are very painless, so I have no issue there. 

6 month check in

183 days since my surgery (6 months)

Well it has been 6 months since I had my surgery. I wondered back then what I would be like 6 months later. I would say I am doing pretty darn well!

Virtual rehab is going great -- and I am actually doing yoga and able to get up and down off the floor pretty easily. Kinda easily. Knee still a little iffy, but that is not heart related.

I'm proud of myself that I am still going strong, but I feel like I need to do even better. Right now I am trying to eat 20 different fruits and vegetables a week.  It is harder than you think.

So far this week: blueberries, cucumbers, carrots, clementines, onion, edamame. 

14 more to go.

How's the home rehab going? Pretty good..

166 days since my surgery (5.5 months)

I really wish I had gotten this virtual rehab program a couple of months after surgery - it's pretty good. I am realizing how bad my balance is when I try some of the exercises, and I am working on that. There is a range of workouts I can choose from — including strength training, cardio, yoga, meditation and more. 

I am also trying to map out some weekly goals for myself and stick with it. Which is hard because I regularly use work as an excuse to be lax. (At least I am becoming more self-aware!) 

Today I am watching a video called "Staying Motivated with Lifestyle Change" and the doctor in the video just said this:

"If you are persistent, you will get it. If you are consistent, you will keep it."

This hit home with me, and since today is Sunday I am thinking ahead and trying to plan my week, set some goals and stick with them. She recommends scheduling workouts so you PLAN to fit them into your day, versus wait and see if you do them or not. 

She also recommended we have a "Promise of 3 Things" we PROMISE to do every day so that even when the day is not going well, or we have a curveball in our day, we can still get 3 things done.  

The intention is for the 3 things to be easy and doable -- like having an extra vegetable, going for a 10 minute walk, lifting hand weights - anything you KNOW you can do every day. 

So  today I am going to determine my 'Promise of 3 Things' and see how that goes for me.  

Virtual Cardiac Rehab

137 days since my surgery (4.5 months)

Today they finally called me to tell me they have an opening for cardiac rehab. Huzzah!

Unfortunately, with work and travel, it's not going to be convenient for me to head out to the suburbs at the time available and then get back downtown for work. So when they finally do have an opening, it sure isn't convenient if you work.

So instead they are connecting me with Virtual Cardiac Rehab through an app and/or website. I have an intake appointment next week. The platform and app are called VHPGO. 

This isn't ideal, but I also think it might be better for me to start charting my own course here and put together a plan that will work for me and my schedule. The therapist assigned to me is going to work with me over the next three months to talk about nutrition, exercise. mental health etc. I also get one-on-one nutritional counseling, live classes online and more.

Away we go. 

Having a pity party over here

125 days since my surgery (4 months)

It is four months and three days since my surgery. I’m doing great. But today I am going through all of my pretty blouses and work clothes that I love. Because most of them are V-neck my scar is now the first thing you see if I wear any of these. 

I know this scar will get better, and in a year or two from now I might even be able to wear a v-neckline without worrying about it. But today I just feel sad. 

Maybe only the women will understand, but I love so many of my things. I felt so confident and pretty in so many of my outfits. I know people say “don’t worry about it, who cares if your scars shows.” But I’m an executive and a professional, and I don’t want the scar to be the first thing someone sees when they look at me. 

Anyway. I guess I’m having a little bit of a pity party over here. And I should probably be grateful that I can afford to buy new clothes. But today, I’m just sad.

4 months after surgery

122 days since my surgery (4 months)

Four months ago today I went into the hospital and had open heart surgery. It seems like a distant memory and also feels like it never even happened. Unless I look at my incision scar.

My scar is actually getting much better - I have been using sicilone strips to help it heal flatter and smoother.

My niece is a cardiac surgical nurse at a children's hospital, and also has had some hip surgery in her past. She recommended these, and she showed me her scars --which you can barely see - that she used these on.  So I am hopeful they will help my scar get flatter.  Really the only part not flat is the top where the suture knot was.  Sometimes it is a little raised and then if I wear the silicone strips it goes down flatter. 

I am still waiting for my spot in the cardiac rehab program.  My friends on the AHA support group highly recommend I do it, so I want to. But it's been FOUR MONTHS! I can't believe how backed up they are!

Cardiac Rehab intake - finally!

99 days since my surgery (3 months)

Today I finally had my intake appointment at the Cardiac Rehab Center. They had me do a 6 minute walk test, and they said I did great.  The minimum requirement is 500 yards and I blew that away. They basically had me walk back and forth between two cones for 6 minutes

She also had me do sit-to-stand tests where they ask you to sit and then stand up a number of times and checked my balance. They had me turn around after standing a few other things. They also checked all of my vitals.

While I was there I saw a group of people sitting in a group doing basic exercises like knee raises, etc in chairs. People were also on treadmills and recumbent bikes. 

I asked if this was what the cardiac rehab program would be like, and they told me this was a pulmonary rehab group but that it would be similar. 

I have to admit it was underwhelming.  Most of these people seemed to have low fitness levels and were mid 60s to late 70s and I don't know if that is the level of rehab I need. I am already quite active, and I am thinking I need more strength training etc. When I asked this of the intake nurse, she told me to try it for a few sessions and then if I want, I can do it on my own.

I'm now on the next waiting list.

The bad news is that the intake is just the next road bump to actually get TO cardiac rehab. I am now on the waiting list to get an actual spot. And that will take a couple more weeks. So now I wait some more.

A word about attitude and positivity.

95 days since my surgery (3 months)

They do warn you before surgery that depression is a very common result of having open heart surgery. I mean - this is a very serious and scary thing. I was scared, anxious, nervous. 

One thing that I think helped me is that I am a pretty positive and optimistic person, and I believe that God has His hand on my life and all will be well.

I did have nurses and others comment on my positive attitude, and contrast it with other patients in my same situation.  But I also had an elective CABG - so I did not come in through the emergency room after a cardiac event, and I was relatively healthy heading into surgery. That is certainly going to make a difference. 

I also had a Dad who - despite many of his own hardships and significant health issues - always stayed positive, maintained a great sense of humor, and would point out that someone else always has it worse. We need to stay strong, positive and thankful.  I channeled a LOT of my Dad's positivity during all of this. I could feel his and my Mom's spirit with me, for sure. 

But I am also someone who is a bit "lit from within" and I believe in letting my light shine in the world. So I do try to stay optimistic and see the good side of things. I have seen people who are more 'negatively-wired' have a hard time with even small disruptions in their life, so if you are indeed that way, this will probably be a harder journey for you.  I do believe attitude, resilience and grit play a key role. But the good news is that we can all work on those things and get better at them.

I will also say that I did have a couple of episodes of sadness -- like a ton of bricks, it suddenly hit me one night that I had just had open heart surgery. I started to cry and was scared and anxious. I started praying to my parents and to God and it was really a bit of a 'stream of consciousness' of all the things I was feeling and afraid of while I cried. It felt good to let it all out, to be honest. But it surprised me because I thought I was doing pretty good mentally and emotionally and wasn't sure what that came from.

I am also a person of faith.  When I pray I do believe my prayers are heard. I also believe my parents, friends and loved ones who have died are all still connected to me and that they are praying for me and supporting me as well. As a Catholic, we call this the 'community of saints.' We are all connected, and remain connected. My ability to talk with God, and my family, and the saints, and just know in my soul that I was not alone was a great comfort to me. 

I spent a lot of time praying for everybody else.

I don't know how atheism works, or how someone would cope if they felt they were all alone. But I spent most of my time in the hospital praying for other people who were also in the hospital. I prayed for the surgeons and the nurses, the hospital staff, the patients and their families. 

I prayed for anyone who was in the emergency room that night, and anyone who had surgery. I prayed for the people who had surgery right after me, and everyone who had been in my room before me. I also prayed for the people who would be in my room next, and the people who didn't know they would be in my same position soon. I prayed for the people who were going to die that day, and their families. I prayed for the chaplains who would counsel them.

I prayed for my husband and my brothers and my family and asked God to keep them strong through all of this. And I prayed for all the people who felt alone, and sad, and frightened and asked God to wrap them in his love and mercy. And I prayed for the atheists - anyone who didn't know God and didn't know just how loved they were by Him. From saying rosaries to just random conversations with God, I felt better when I was praying for everyone else and asking Him to care for them. 

So if you're facing sadness or depression, maybe start praying for everyone else in the world who has it worse than you and ask God to help them through. Seems like it helps.

Followup with the Cardiologist

78 days since my surgery (2.5 months)

Today I met with my cardiologist and he said everything is looking great! He wants me to get another echocardiogram to check on my ejection fraction to make sure it is still improving. 

He said sometimes it is higher right after surgery because it's been given 'rocket fuel' to improve. I am actually getting one next week during my intake appointments for my new HT diagnosis so he will look at those results when they come in.

I told him about the delay in the cardiac rehab program, and he said to just keep exercising on my own, eating right, sleeping and reducing stress. All the things I need to do to stay health.  

I will come back in 3 months to see him again! 

Day 64

64 days since my surgery (2 months)

The scabs where the drains were are still really hard and crusty. The one on the right side actually started looking wet and stuck to my gauze and came off. I called the nurse at the Cardiac office and went in today to see her to make sure it’s OK. 

She said they’ll take a long time to heal, but they’re OK. She also looked at the top of my incision where the suture knot had come out. 

I asked her if that’s gonna heal nice like the rest of the incision and she said it might not. Which is not great because now it’s like a little round hole at the top of my incision. (Sigh) She did say I could start using the silicone strips but not on the top of the incision because it’s still closing. She said it should eventually close and she checked it to make sure it’s not “tunneling.“ It’s not - and she said it’s healing fine.

She gave me some hydrogel to put on the scabs to make sure they stay soft and moist. When I took the Band-Aids off at the end of the day, it was really gross. It also smelled really funky, so I don’t know how much I want to use that hydrogel.

Now that the right scab is falling off, the left one which is larger and grosser looking is still there protecting what’s underneath, but you can tell it’s coming off. I’m not looking forward to that, but I’m hopeful that that means it’s healing better.

I have a lump at the bottom of my incision and one in the middle, she told me that it is scar tissue. I had googled it and was worried it was a seroma. She said no it’s just scar tissue and it may or may not go away.  It feels like a hard bony lump when I press down there. 

The lump at the top of the scar is going down, but I could still feel something when I rub my hand from left to right it’s like there’s a hill in the middle of my chest. She said it’ll go away, but may never go away all the way. It’s certainly better than it was when I left the hospital. But that lump was more tissue, and this feels like bone.

A lot of this is stuff they just don’t tell you, and the only reason I went to see her is because I kept asking her about it. I’m really surprised they don’t do wound checks. I saw the Cardiac surgeons two weeks after surgery and haven’t really seen them since.

24/7 Wearing A Bra

 

At some point you will learn that you need to wear a bra 24/7 for the first several weeks after surgery. If you have larger breasts, like me, this is critical, because the weight of your breasts can pull on your incision and cause problems. 

The cardiac nurse told me ahead of time that any non-underwire front-closure bra would do, but this is not true. Thankfully, I had time to research this ahead of my surgery and I found this Judy longline bra from a company called Masthead Pink. They create post-surgical bras for both breast and cardiac surgery patients.

Something they don't tell you ahead of time — you will have surgical drain wounds.

Right below the incision which runs down the middle of my chest, I have two 1/2" scabs about 1/2" apart from each other where the surgical drains were removed. (Removing those drains tubes was not painful, but really weird-feeling, but that is a story for another time.)

When I try to wear a regular front-closure, non underwire bra, the bottom of the bra hits right there where those two scabs are. As I am writing this, I am 8 weeks post surgery, and I still have two pretty large scabs. Even when I unhook the bottom of the bra, it often rubs against them and was causing a little pain, and also resulted in one of the scabs 'leaking' a little bit.  I only wear the regular bra to work during the day, because it offers a little more support and lift than this surgical bra, but it's nowhere near as comfortable.

Because this bra is a longline, it doesn't rub there, and helps me feel protected and secure. It's really comfortable and easy to wear when you sleep. 

I ordered two of these so one can be in the wash when I am wearing the other one. 

I ordered one in my measured size and one a size smaller.  The smaller one feels better now, but the larger one felt better early on.  When you wash them, be sure to close the velcro. I do that, but the velcro is still starting to fail a little. But then again, I have been wearing them for 8 weeks straight and am almost done with them.   

A word about the universe.

The world sends you messages.

I am a religious person - a Christian and a Catholic - although I am also pretty much a fan of all forms of faith and spirituality. I believe we are all connected and that we are here on earth to help each other.

So whether you think of it as our loved ones on the other side sending us messages, or God Himself sending us messages, or just the world at large — I do believe we are sent signs and messages.

The night before surgery I was on social media trying to distract myself from my impending surgery and playing around with one of those goofy apps that a friend had posted. This one was supposed to tell you your bible verse for 2024. This is what it gave me.

I can argue that this verse is applicable in probably 75% of everything we do in life. But I also know that this is what I got a few hours before I had to go into the first surgery of my life -- and it was an open heart surgery that is pretty serious, and a surgery I was pretty darn afraid of.  And this made me feel better and made me feel like someone was letting me know it would be ok.

Then my husband was at Panda Express and got two fortune cookies and opened one of them for me. I always let him eat the actual cookie. This was the fortune for me.

I mean -- 

I have had so much proof in my life that the universe, or God, or my parents, or someone up there or out there is sending me messages of encouragement, that I know it is true.

Regardless -- these things bring me hope. And if there is one thing we can always use more of in life it is hope.

 

Surgical Incision

 **WARNING** I am sharing photos of my incision and scar for people who want to know that to expect. These are not great photos, and they are personally awkward to share. But I want to help people.

So please do not proceed unless you want to see surgery scars that are not fun to look at. 

But they also aren't really that bad. 

Scroll down to see.

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Stop now if you do not want to see a big incision scar.

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So what you see at the very top is a lump that you have after surgery that will go down over time. It does, and they tell you this. But it is weird when you see it. 

The top of the incision is where they tie-off the stitches with a "suture knot." More on this in a later post. They actually sew you up from the bottom to the top. 

Woman have to wear a bra 24/7 for a month or so because the weight of the breasts will pull on the incision. The incision itself is about 6" long for women. Below the incision you see 2 scabs - these are from where the drain tubes were removed. These scab up and are there for quite awhile. 

There are so many tubes and lines and monitor patches they put on you, that your skin takes quite a beating. The adhesive is also almost impossible to remove. What looks like gray glue on my skin is all of the adhesive.

Honestly, this was not as bad as I had thought it would be. I was far more aggravated by the dang surgical glue. After 4 showers it was still there. I finally got some adhesive removal wipes from the nurse at my follow up visit.  Ask for those before you leave the hospital - you will need them.

Men with body hair might have an even harder time with the adhesives. I am not sure.

Below is a picture after almost four months.

The incision is all healed but is still a bit red and raised. Based on what the nurse told me before surgery, it will take about a year or so for the scar to heal into a less visible state. 

This photo doesn't show the drain scars but they are all healed up as well. They were big scabs for a very long time.  But once they fell off it was all soft new skin underneath.

The top of this scar is where the suture knot was, and it is more raised than the rest of the scar. This is where the silicone scar tape should help me. But again, this will take time.

I will take more photos in the coming months so I can share how the scar progresses.

Good days and bad days.

42 days since my surgery (1.5 months)

I still have to sleep flat on my back, and still have to wear a bra 24/7 to protect my incision. I worry that it is not healing right and I can't believe there aren't more appointments for them to check on this. 

Today it suddenly hit me that I had open heart surgery and I was a bit panicked for a moment and started to cry.  I let myself have a little pity party for myself, and then tried to refocus myself on how far I have come and how well I am doing. 

I also hopped in to one of the AHA support groups and spent time making other people feel better by answering questions and helping give people answers.

When we feel bad or down or low -- the best thing to do is help someone else.

Works every time. 

Day 37 - Big Department Meeting & Company Party

I DID IT!

I hosted my big 3 hour department meeting and it was awesome! We had our annual company meeting and holiday party and it was awesome too!

I kept my energy up and was able to show up as the professional executive I am! My new company is amazing and I am so glad I am here and able to do this and show my leadership despite all of this surgery stuff!

I CAN DO THIS! I CAN DO EVEN MORE!

Day 36 - Back in the office!

I have been back to work since January 2nd, but today was the first day I went into the office! 

I can't drive yet so Jim drove me, and it felt weird going into work without my hugging bear. I kept a big towel with me just in case I needed to cough!

But I can't have my teams seeing me at the office with a teddy bear. LOL!

I didn't really tell anyone about my surgery outside of my boss - a few others know I took the week before Christmas off for a 'medical procedure.' But I don't want everyone at my new job knowing about this. At least not yet. I don't want people to worry about me.

But it felt good to be in the office in person! My energy was good, and I was able to set up for my big department meeting tomorrow!

I am so proud of myself and how far I have come.

I said I would be back to work in 2 weeks - and I was.

I said I would be back in the office by today - and I was.

I said I would host my big meeting tomorrow - and I will.

I am going to keep getting stronger and I will emerge from all of this better than before!

Day 31

Well today I talked to the cardiac rehab people and there is a 2 month waiting list to get into the program. I told them i am supposed to be starting it in 2-3 weeks. I have an appointment for late March. 

I can opt for virtual cardiac rehab, but I really want to do this right. It has been one month and one day since surgery. 

I now weigh 25 pounds less than when I had surgery. I feel stronger but still want to get more fit and want stronger muscle strength. So I really want to get to the cardiac rehab program to get cleared for more exercise!

Day 29

The tape from the gauze bandages pulls on my skin all day and is really aggravating. I switched to Band-Aids tonight and I put a small Band-Aid over the top of my incision and went over each of the drain scabs. It was way less irritating. I really want everything to heal up and I’m hoping that that happens soon.

The pain is definitely way better, but I’m still constantly aware of my chest muscles in my chest. Some of it maybe the healing of the incision and I just don’t know it. Feeling is slowly coming back to my chest area as well. My energy levels seem to be improving too. 

Lastly, I took my very last oxy. I’ve only been taking them at night when I’m falling asleep. I don’t like the way they make my head feel so foggy and disoriented.  And my nightmares and dreams have been really odd. We’ll see how I feel tomorrow.

I took a shower tonight and I think I feel the most normal today - the bandaids might be helping.  I’m a little more fatigued today but still feel 'better.;

Day 23 - Suture Knot Issues

Today I woke up and I noticed that at the top of my incision it looked more red and was like it was bleeding. I took a picture and sent it to the NP at the surgeons' office. She got back to me told me that’s my suture knot. 

In addition to gluing the outside of my skin, they stitched up the inside from the bottom to the top and the suture knot at the top is where they tied it off. 

She said it may poke through the skin and keep bleeding from time to time, but that it looked OK.  I can put a piece of gauze or a bandage over it.

I could actually feel something sticking out when I was washing it in the shower, and I asked if it would dissolve and she said yes, but not for another few months.

This is the kind of thing I kind of wish I knew in advance. Because they told me I was glued shut. Nobody said anything about a suture knot. 

I’m guessing the suture knot is why there’s the lump at the top of the incision. I know they told me that that’s why they closed it off. I’m also wondering if as the swelling of the lump is going down, it’s somehow impacting the suture knot?

**WARNING** Gross photo of suture knot bleeding.

Do not scroll down if you do not want to see this photo. It is gross.

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You can see it is bleeding at the top, and there is a hard plastic piece I can feel there, too, 

Day 19 - Three Kings / Epiphany

Today is the Feast of the Three Kings. Epiphany!

I have a nagging cough, that’s irritating enough because I have to hold my cough bear against my chest when I cough. And the persistent tickle in my throat is awful. I’m using Kanthil and sugar free cough drops. But I’m also keeping a glass of water nearby. If I start to talk too much, I definitely start to cough. 

My back is much better today, I laid with a heating pad on my back for about an hour after I went to sleep last night. I put my compression socks on today and my left leg does feel pretty tight. But the socks don’t come all the way up to the incision and I’m hopeful that they help with the fluid. Cardiology NP told me it was OK to wear them as long as it doesn’t cover my leg incision.

I had a lot of nightmares again last night while I was sleeping, and I dozed off for about an hour nap this afternoon, and had weird nightmares and dreams as well.

I weigh the same as yesterday, which is still 20 pounds less than when I got home from the surgery. 

Day 18 - Cardiology appointment

Today I had an appointment with the cardiologist and I actually met with the nurse practitioner and not the doctor. This seems to be a trend these days.

I asked if I could wear compression socks because my legs are definitely swelling up when I’m sitting a lot during the day. She said OK. 

I am definitely feeling better, my chest is not as painful, but I am becoming more aware that my feeling is coming back. I do have very bad pain in my middle back on the left side. I tried some Biofreeze which helped for a bit, but then slept on a heating pad, and that seems to fix it. 

I am thinking it might be from doing too much or overexerting myself. I also asked the cardiologist to do a hemoglobin test and a hemoglobin is 8.7 which is up from when I left the hospital but not by much. I told the doctor I’m going to go back to iron twice a day and I’m also making an appointment with the hematologist.

I can't afford to get fatigued from the anemia while I'm trying to heal from the CABG!

So this was my second day in a row out of the house and walking longer distances to the doctor's office, Which is right across the elevator lobby from the surgeon's office I went to yesterday. Felt good to walk but it is tiring. 

Day 17 - Follow up with surgeons

Today was my first trip out of the house. It's winter in Chicago, and I was praying it would not be icy or slick. I carried my bear with me and my husband dropped me off in front of the doctor's office and parked the car. I felt really good being able to walk inside and go the longer distance to the doctor's office. 

I did feel a little tired by the time I got there. But it felt good.

The nurse practitioner saw me. I guess I don't see the actual doctor anymore. She checked the incisions and said they looked great. But she saw a piece of suture left in one of the drain wounds and pulled that out with tweezers. Gross. 

She said it will take a couple of months but it looked good and was healing up. 

I don't need to come back and see the surgical team anymore, but she said to reach out with any questions.

I went home in time to take an afternoon meeting for work! And then I took a nap. 

Day 16 - Back to work yesterday!

Back to work!

I started back to work yesterday and it feels great to be working. I felt pretty good all day but was a little tired toward the late afternoon.  But it gives me something to do other than watch TV. 

I think I’m sitting a little bit too long at the table though, so I’m taking a break and putting my feet up in the recliner for a few minutes. 

I see the doctor tomorrow and I was worried a little bit about some leakage in my incision yesterday. I left it open to the air and it seemed to dry up. We’ll find out more tomorrow when we see the doctor.

Physical therapy!

The physical therapist came by yesterday - he was a nice guy. It was basically about a 15 minute session and he had me do leg lifts in my chair and stand, walk etc. He also checked my incisions and took my vitals. He told me breathing is very important and to make sure I am using my spirometer. 

I told him my shoulders were a little sore and he taught me how to breathe in deeply. He had me put my hands lightly over my chest and when I breathed in he had me let my hands slowly separate, and then come back together as I breathe out. He had me do that ten times. He wants me to take full breaths in, and not shallow ones. 

He also told to me to walk as much as I can, and to limit the stairs to a couple of times a day.